The Secret to my Success

Posted: May 23, 2012 by baki3626 in Ferne's World
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Two years ago, I was an exercise addict.  Two years later, I am addicted to candy bars, but let’s not focus on the present just yet.  I’m all about focusing on the past here.  We have to look backward in order to move forward.  Stay with me. 

During this exercise binge, I exercised daily on my Wii Fit, which worked really well because I love video games.  By working out in this way, I was able to convince myself that I was playing a video game as opposed to exercising.  That was delusional, and this delusion is CRUCIAL to my success.  Here’s why. The mathematical formula for a successful work out plan for me is (10% being there/showing up + 90% Delusion) = I’m kicking ass

I was definitely winning and because the Wii Fit was in my living room, the “showing up” part of the ratio was in the bag. 

Another reason the Wii Fit is awesome is that you get to design a “Mii,” which is your little Wii Avatar.   You then workout (PLAY) as your avatar.  Genius!

 This fitness plan was successful for quite some time, but eventually I got bored with the Wii Fit because I’d mastered all of the fun mini-games, so I decided to purchase the Zumba DVD collection.  If you’re not familiar with Zumba, it’s a Latin dance workout  with hot Latin dance instructors that has hit the infomercial scene HARD.  They even have a Zumba video game for the Wii Fit. 

Here is my official review:  “Meh…..not super impressed.”  The instructors on the DVD are totally trying to get you pumped by talking to you and cheering you on and what not, but just like another notorious children’s Latin television star that I know, “Dora the Explorer,” they aren’t really talking to you, nor can they hear your response, which might be good in my case because there was a lot of Zumba cursing going on. 


Plus, I felt like a tool pretending to get excited to clap and dance with myself.  The only time I’ve been remotely excited to dance alone was when my sister and I created our own dance workout called “Cardio Video.”  This invention has little to do with my successful exercise ratio, but I can tell you it is 100% buffoonery; therefore, it is fun.  We can touch on this invention another time.  I can’t share all of my crazy with you guys ALL at once.  Just know that it is awesome! 

Now that we’ve touched on my exercise history and what it takes to be successful if you’re name is Ferne Emery, let’s get back to the present.  About a week ago, my friend Alison told me about this Zumba class she was attending called “Happy Girl Fitness.”  Fun, right? She asked if I wanted to go.  Given that I’d had such an awesome experience with Zumba prior, I politely told Alison to “bite me” because I wasn’t going.  After Alison told me how much fun she’d had, I decided to give it a go, plus the instructor’s name is Precious, so it was worth me going just to see if she had any affiliation to the two blockbuster movies that popped into my head…… 

I’m so glad I decided to give it a try because Zumba with Precious might have just been the best hour of my life.  I also owe Alison an apology for the whole “Bite me” thing.  Precious was so full of awesome energy, and the class was so much fun, that I didn’t even curse once, nor did I have the breath to.   

There was ZERO judgment, and trust me; that’s a good thing.  Precious can seriously move and seriously motivate!  I am now a “Zumba with Precious” addict and a “Happy Girl.”  If any of you live in the Piedmont Triad of North Carolina, you have to look this girl up, and get in on a class.  You’ll be so happy you did. 

As for my workout equation, Precious doesn’t hang out in my living room, although she’d be welcome to, so these classes are obviously not in mi casa, but it’s all good.  I look forward to classes all week, so the (10% being there/showing up) of my workout equation is in the bag because I am excited, and I don’t think I need any help with being (90% Delusional. )



I hope to see you guys in class. 

  1. Andrew says:

    There hardest part about excercising for me is that I hate it with all of my heart. Maybe if they had a swordfighting class, I would be skinnier.

  2. baki3626 says:

    Great job, Ferney!!

  3. Andrew, I’d be game for some sword fighting. 🙂 Thanks E!

  4. “Zumba With Precious” sounds like a heart-warming coming of age story debuting at Cannes about a boy finding his way through adolescence in a new and unfamiliar Latin-American neighborhood through the art of excer-dance. I mean, doesn’t it?

  5. baki3626 says:

    That’s EXACTLY what it sounds like! 🙂

  6. Sounds like a movie Julia Roberts would want to be in just to screw up the whole vibe. 😉

Your words SHOULD be here! :-)

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