Archive for June, 2012

Best of Enemies: Page 8

Posted: June 25, 2012 by baki3626 in Comic Monday
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Good people of Earth, welcome to the second month and eighth week of Comic Monday! It’s great to see you all again. You’ve never looked better. Ever! And speaking of looking, please feel free to take a gander at this week’s update. Our two main characters finally meet up. But of course there are misunderstandings, assumptions and loaded guns in the hands a of cop with several itchy trigger fingers. We’ve all been there before. Hope you enjoy!! Until next time…

I just watched “E.T.:  The Extra Terrestrial” the other evening with my three year old, well, the beginning of it anyway.  Will got scared when Elliott and E.T. see each other for the first time in the cornfield, or whatever kind of field it was, so he bailed out early, and I watched the rest of the movie alone.  It’s been so long since I’ve seen it, that I almost wonder if I ever really saw it prior to now in its entirety.  It was sincerely like watching it for the first time all over again, and I’ve got some insight to share about my movie experience.  I made a list.  

1.  I am inventing a drinking game called “Start taking tequila shots when E.T. starts hammering beers, so you’re passed out by the time the movie gets depressing.”

Win!  This movie bummed me out.  I feel like my dog died, and I foresee that this overwhelming feeling of depression will continue for about a week.  A hangover only lasts a day.  I know which one I’ll choose next time.

2.  Whoever designed E.T.’s character has issues with fecalphilia.  

I don’t know that I need to go into a full length description here, but E.T. looks like a big pile of animated doo doo.  That’s the reason he can bring plants back to life anyway; the guy is a walking compost pile.  

3.  Reece’s Pieces are kiddie crack.  

You know you can’t eat just one.  Crackheads don’t smoke just one crack rock.  It’s the same situation with Reece’s Pieces.

4..  You are who you hang with.  

E.T. starts to die; Elliott starts to die.  Probably because they sat around together and “smoked” a whole bag of Reece’s Pieces.  Kids, pick your friends wisely.  

5..  I hate the government.  

They can’t be trusted.  They will come and take your pet.  This is why they cancelled the NASA program.  

6..  The California Public School System tortured children in the 1980’s.  

By making 10 year old children watch live frogs die before they dismembered them.  What the balls!?  

7..  Drew Barrymore and I share the same birthday.

Except, she’s older.  HA!

8.. You are a pimp if you have a basket on your bike.  

That’s where it’s at.  You can’t make fun of someone with a basket on their bike because of the sheer utilitarian purpose of it.  My mom has an adult tricycle.  No one makes fun of her.  Everyone wants to know where she scored it.  It even has a place on the back for your cooler.  It’s not a basket; it’s better.  

9.  I am thankful for my smartphone.

This movie would have been a lot shorter, and I’d have saved myself a whole lot of time, if Elliott had a blackberry, or an i-phone or SIRI.  

10.  E.T. reminds me of a drunk, old person

Ironically, this is exactly the same thing I think about toddlers.  

It was probably just as well that Will bailed on me because I suppose the movie is still a little too adult for him.  I’m sure a year or so from now I will have forgotten this rant, and I’ll get excited that it’s coming on television again.  Next time, I’m making someone watch it with me.  That is if I don’t decide to practice #1 from my list.

Best of Enemies: Page 7

Posted: June 18, 2012 by baki3626 in Comic Monday
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Hello again and welcome back to another Comic Monday! The plot is starting to thicken up like spaghetti sauce so if you have any questions, concerns or complaints please don’t hesitate to leave a few words in the comments section below. Until next time…

I don’t know about you guys, but when I think of Father’s Day, I automatically think of Darth Vader.  The “Star Wars” movies are riddled with ongoing daddy themes, and of course, there is that monumental moment where Vader announces to Luke Skywalker, “I.AM.YOUR.FATHER.”   (You just read that in the James Earl Jones voice… don’t lie.)

People don’t generally dig having their “dirty laundry” aired, so I’m not going to delve deep into the Skywalker’s daddy issues, but I’ll say this much, I think that Darth Vader is really misunderstood.

Take the scene where he chops off Luke’s hand, for instance.  Darth Vader was just trying to knock Luke’s light saber away, as Luke clearly wasn’t trained properly in its use (just ask Yoda.)  Any good dad tries to keep dangerous objects away from their children.  Am I right?  You wouldn’t let your child run about with a kitchen knife pretending to use “the force” on a bell pepper, now would you?  No, you would not, but accidents are sure to happen when you’re using a real laser sword to do your bidding, just as Darth Vader was.  Luke was in the wrong place at the wrong time, surely, and he should be thankful he didn’t lose anything else.

And don’t even get me started on how Vader blows up his daughter’s home planet; she was kidnapped at birth for God’s sake.  Sheesh…give the guy a break here.   He’s a little miffed about that, and who wouldn’t be?

Stepping off the soap box now….y’all don’t come here to listen to my political views.

So clearly I am not alone in my clichéd appreciation for a “Star Wars” themed Father’s Day.  One could spend an entire day internet window shopping for just that.  I personally believe that at least 50% of the handmade community makes a living on “craftifying” “Star Wars” in some way.  If you don’t believe me, go cruise Etsy; type in “Star Wars Father’s Day,” and just sit a spell.  You’ll be there all day.  You’re welcome. 

Cruising these handmade websites is how I decided what to give my baby daddy for Father’s Day this year.

Happy Father’s Day, Ben.

My son’s Father’s Day gift idea for his out of this world daddy actually originated here , and I happened to find a pretty sweet tutorial here.  While I love supporting the handmade community, I am also pretty damn crafty myself, so if I can save a buck or two on a gift by going it solo, I’m game.

I essentially followed the tutorial spot on; however, instead of super glue to attach my Lego people onto the card stock, I used my glue gun because I love my glue gun more than words can describe, and make it a permanent appendage if I could get health insurance to cover the surgery.

Also, Will asked if he could “autograph” the pictures.  That’s pretty much priceless; you can’t buy that anywhere.

The Lego figures were pretty entertaining.  Here are some outtakes of our project!

As you can see, I was trying to get them to reenact scenes from the movies, but Han Solo was up to his typical shenanigans, so Princess Leia had to shut him down pretty quickly because she’s a bad ass mo’fo’, and NOW we know why Vader was so distant and moody all of the time…. “Tootsie?”  I told you he was misunderstood.

Unlike Vader, no one contemplates whether my husband is a good father or not because it’s quite obvious what Will thinks of his daddy.

MIKE

Hello and welcome to another episode of “Behind the Mask.” I’m your host Mike R. Fones and tonight I will be joined by the wall-crawling, web-slinger himself, the spectacular Spider-man! Hello sir and welcome to the program.

SPIDER-MAN

Well hello yourself. Nice intro, Mikey. I should let you announce my arrival every time I go out. Ever been a super hero’s wingman?

MIKE

I use to hit up a few spots with Tony Stark back in the day but that was before he started wearing that fancy suit. Not to mention that leash Pepper keeps him on.

SPIDER-MAN

Yeah, red-heads are really nice.

MIKE

What’s that?

SPIDER-MAN

I said it’s really good to see ya.

MIKE

Yes and you as well, Spider-man.

SPIDER-MAN

Please, call me Spidey.

MIKE

Ah yes, “Spidey.” One of your many nicknames.

SPIDER-MAN

Yep, one of my many…Wait, what? What other nicknames do I have?!

MIKE

Well, over the years I’ve heard you called everything from “web-head” to a “masked menace.”

SPIDER-MAN

Okay, I’ll give ya “web-head.” It’s got a bit of a ring to it. But “masked menace?!” Me?! Do I look like a masked menace?

Mike

You are currently wearing a bright red ski-mask and hanging upside down from the ceiling like a burglar.

SPIDER-MAN

Oops, am I doing that spider-hang-thingy right now? Sorry. Half the time I don’t even realize it. Once had an entire conversation with Doc Ock like this and…

MIKE

Doc Ock? As in Doctor Otto Octavius? The super villain with 8 limbs?

SPIDER-MAN

First of all, how many Doc Ocks do you know? Second, I wouldn’t exactly call that scampering bowl-cut a super anything. He may have half a dozen hands but he’s still all thumbs.

MIKE

And yet he’s managed elude you on several occasions.

SPIDER-MAN

Name one.

MIKE

Last month when he robbed that bank on Elm.

SPIDER-MAN

Happened right after lunch. A combo meal from Taco Town and a pair of tight spandex don’t help the ole spider reflexes in a fight. But that’s what dye packs are for.

MIKE

How about during the Thanksgiving Day parade? He destroyed several balloons and floats while you just watched. You might as well have been eating popcorn while sitting on your daddy’s shoulders.

SPIDER-MAN

He took out Odie, Nermel and a couple of Teletubbies. The crowd was actually cheering him on as he did it. By the way, you seem kinda familiar. Is this our first interview together?

MIKE

Of course it is. And don’t try and change the subject, arachnid!

SPIDER-MAN

What subject, ulcer-face?

MIKE

That you’re in cahoots with Doctor Octopus!

SPIDER-MAN

How dare you accuse me of being in cahoots! By the way, what’s a cahoot?

MIKE

Your little quips won’t get you out of this! I have hard evidence that you have been working with every suped up hood and mega powered crook in the city! They commit the crime and you create some elaborate hoax to help them get away from the police!

SPIDER-MAN

If I was working with the baddies of this town wouldn’t I be able to afford some better duds? Or at least a car? Web swinging may be a  great workout but even I could use a break. And your voice really sounds familiar. You sure we never played Frisbee golf together? How bout softball?

MIKE

Frisbee golf is for sweaty hippies and softball is for angry tom-boys!

SPIDER-MAN

And who’d know more about being angry than you? I’ve seen the Hulk manage his anger better.

MIKE

Well, I’m not the Hulk.

SPIDER-MAN

Nope. And you’re not Mike R. Fones either.

MIKE

Huh…what’re you…what’re you talking about?! Of course I am!

SPIDER-MAN

Wow J.J. Your acting is about as bad as your reporting. Still not quite as bad as your hair though.

 

J. JONAH JAMESON

What?! How’d you…!

SPIDER-MAN

Gimme some credit, pickle-puss. Did you really think I wouldn’t recognize the distinct aroma of those dirty stogies you’re always chomping on?

J. JONAH JAMESON

Damn. Stopped smoking days ago. Smell never leaves.

SPIDER-MAN

Don’t bash the pipe weed too much. Your little “Mike” mask is cute but about as far from effective as you’re blood pressure is from low.

J. JONAH JAMESON

Fine. You figured me out. Big deal. I don’t regret my actions or recant my accusations. You’re nothing more than a pajama’ed criminal and I’ll bring you to justice or die trying!

SPIDER-MAN

Can’t argue with you there, “Grandfather Time.” Your salt and pepper hairstyle is getting saltier by the minute.

J. JONAH JAMESON

One of these days I’ll find out who you are. I’ll take that mask of yours off and expose you to the world for who you really are.

SPIDER-MAN

And one of these days I’ll figure out what the “J” in your name stands for. It’s Jarvis, isn’t it?

J. JONAH JAMESON

Why you…!!!

(Spider-man fires some webbing over J. Jonah Jameson’s mouth shutting him up)

SPIDER-MAN

Later Jarvis!

(Spider-man quickly swings away)

Best of Enemies: Page 6

Posted: June 11, 2012 by baki3626 in Comic Monday
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A very good Monday to you super fine peoples! Hope this little bit of illustrated entertainment adds to your day and overall well-being. Today’s page features one of the series fan faves, Bertram Thomas aka “The Blond Bastard”. Please try and play nice with one another. Then again, he is a blond bastard. Oh well, until next time…

In the summer of 2009 I traveled to the Greek Islands with a large group of friends. It’s amazing how organized a group of MBAs can get 🙂 We began our journey in Athens under the cover of the amazing Acropolis. It never fails to amaze me that structures are still standing from centuries ago. I always find myself wondering about the people who built them: what were they like, what were their dreams, and did they think they were building something that people would travel thousands of miles to see?

Sometimes in the midst of our crazy modern lives we forget that the things we do may indeed just be what becomes a lasting impact on history. I’m sure the builders of the many ruins didn’t think they were doing anything spectacular they were just doing their jobs. Gives you something to think about the next time you wonder about your ability to make a difference.

 This was my second trip to Greece, but unlike my last visit this time I made it to a place I have been dreaming of going for quite some time…Santorin! It was as lovely and beautiful as I had imagined. I found that even I could take postcard worthy pictures 🙂 Our island tour began with a bang…of sorts…we rented matching tiny yellow cars for a wine tasting extravaganza. Let’s just say that only one car made it through the day in one piece and some of us got to experience the joys of a Greek police station! Yes one of the lucky ones was me. We were involved in a hit and run accident. And yours truly got pictures of the runaways. We were taken to the station to give our statements, trying our best to wait patiently while they translated from English to Greek while ignoring the cat calls from those behind the jail cells. Something we found interesting is that the prisoners get their food from friends and relatives that bring it by, very different from our US system. Finally we were released thanks to one of our classmates coming to our rescue…never underestimate the power of a woman’s smile!

With its black sand beaches and hidden treasures, Santorin is truly a place I could keep going back to time and time again (minus the police encounters). One of my favorite memories is of finding this small church; I’ll never forget the feeling of accomplishment I felt upon spotting it in the distance. It’s located on the back side of a mountain that juts out from the island. It can only be seen from the sea….after 3 attempts we finally located it. Honestly no easy feat, it involved everything from climbing rocks to following crooked dirt paths to undetermined locations. Definitely some prayer involved along the way, for those faithful followers I’m sure they are ready for church upon arrival. With its white walls and blue dome it was one of the most breathtaking sights I’ve seen. Our excitement gave us the courage to climb up to the very top of the mountain, scaling what believe were once stairs. I’ve had very few occasions in my life where I found myself in a place where it felt like it was just me and God, yet that’s how I felt that day.

 

And there is it…the whole point of roaming round the world in a nutshell…seeing the wonders of the world that God has made through time. In journeying outside of our local comfort zones we open ourselves and our minds to so much more than we may even realize.