Ryan Seacrest Wants “My Bod”

Posted: August 22, 2012 by baki3626 in Ferne's World
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I don’t get to watch a ton of television that doesn’t include humanoid vehicles or talking ponies, but when I do, I revel in that time.  Imagine my surprise that in four years of not consistently watching adult primetime, I find that Ryan Seacrest has taken over the airwaves.  He’s got “American Idol,” “Keeping up with the Kardashians” and quite a few more gigs that he is either hosting or producing.  Well, “Good for him,” I say!  He was even able to partake in some Olympic 2012 coverage, which spared me an entire 2 weeks of Bob Costas narration, but I kind of feel like he’s everywhere, which quite frankly, has me concerned that he’s planning to take over Earth and its inhabitants in a hostile fashion.   Could it be?

I feel his presence everywhere and anytime I turn the channel whether it is on television or radio, he’s there.  I was watching the 25th Anniversary of “Shark Week” on the Discovery Channel this past month, and I’m watching it thinking, “Thank God that Ryan Seacrest doesn’t host ‘Shark Week,’” yet, this is the vision that pops into my mind…

And this…

 And this next one is by far the worst…

All I can say is, “Well played, Ryan Seacrest.  Well played indeed”.   Not only are you taking over the airwaves, you’re taking over ocean waves too.   I guess that’s why they call you “SEAcrest”.   Just keep your filthy mitts off of “Finding Nemo” and other Disney cartoons I watch with my son, and we’re square; otherwise, I’ll have nowhere to escape your plan to go all “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” on me and the rest of Earth.  I’ve heard people refer to him as, “The new Oprah Winfrey.”  I mean, if I was a Pod Person, that’s exactly whose body I’d take over first.  Could Ryan Seacrest REALLY be a body snatcher?  Could this really be?

Yep.   It be.


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